On Election Day, I rode to the polling station on a throne carried by the local poor people, with a cripple leading the way blowing a trumpet and shouting "Make way for this Conservative Voter." All well worth the £1.50 I paid him. Arriving at the polling station, I climbed down the backs of the poor to walk along a red carpet rolled out by a member of an ex-miners association, who was chained to a lamppost so he wouldn't do something violent. Handing my solid gold polling card to the lady at the table, I had a street urchin shine my shoes while I waited for my name to be scored off the list. Ballot paper in hand, I went to the booth, stabbed the urchin with a quill and put a X in blood next to the Conservative candidate.
Hello, my name is Ben, and I am a Tory. According to the internet, particularly Facebook, I hate, despise, oppress and seek to destroy: the poor, the disabled, the miners, the Scottish and the NHS. The latest research indicates that 80% of left wing people reading the above story will nod wisely and think: "Yes, I thought so." The vitriol and hatred displayed on a regular basis against Conservatives is a clear indication of a lack of understanding of Conservative principles and ideology. For it is easy to demean that which we do not understand and easy to simplify that which we put no effort into learning. Let's get the cold hard truth out here, wild assertions that all Conservatives hate the poor are as crass and unwelcome as any other kind of discrimination. A well reasoned argument as to why conservative policy might harm the poor is perfectly acceptable (if, as I would counter argue, wrong). Spurious nonsense about millions of Britons voting to kill disabled people is childish and limited.
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