The storm clouds of life were heavy and dark, the wind raged, the waves tossed and the future seemed bleak. My prayers were empty words devoid of comfort, the Bible held no help, my sins towered over me, my lack of faith and love for God weighed my soul down and it all was too much. My strength, pitiful as it was, was spent; my courage had deserted me and God seemed so very far away. He seemed to be deaf to my pleas and all was lost. I was perplexed and in despair, sorrowful and not rejoicing, confused and baffled by God’s providence. My own understanding failed me and hope was too distant a concept to grasp. The path before me was dark and crooked, my soul was downcast and my thoughts troubled.
And I suffered the temptation to quit. To give up and walk away from all that I did. I’d toss in the towel and leave God and Christianity behind me. It was too heavy a burden to bear, too much for my feeble frame, too hard, too painful, I couldn’t do it. And yet, and yet no sooner had I entertained this thought when a barrier in my mind slammed into place. I couldn’t quit. It became impossibility itself and every fibre of my being rejected the temptation and turned back to God. Who else was there to turn to?
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“Behold therefore the goodness and severity of God: on them which fell, severity; but toward thee, goodness, if thou continue in [his] goodness: otherwise thou also shalt be cut off.”
Romans 11 v 22 (King James version) I have to admit that this is one of my favourite biblical ‘catchphrases’. Whenever I say to myself I imagine a deep resonating voice booming out over all the land: “BEHOLD THE GOODNESS AND SEVERITY OF GOD” Something like that. The phrase neatly encapsulates one of the more common errors a Christian can make. Namely that we exaggerate either the goodness of God or his severity. In its worse forms solely focusing on the goodness of God leads to a doing away with hell, universalism (everyone will be saved) and a neglecting of God’s wrath. And solely focusing on the severity of God can often present him in the words of Dawkins as a “a petty, capriciously malevolent bully” Neither is true. Both are making God to be in man’s image rather man in God’s image. Both views assign human imperfections to a perfect God. As such, I figured it would be profitable to consider them both and doing as Paul commands behold the goodness and severity of God. “The LORD is good to all, he has compassion on all that he has made”
Psalm 145 v 9 As you may have heard for the last three weeks I’ve been in Russia! I was there on a camp run by CCX (The Russian version of the Christian Union) teaching English, swimming, making friends, participating in Bible studies, having a great time and meeting fantastic people. The whole experience is definitely one I will always remember – in a good way! But more importantly than what I did was what I learnt. As such I’m going to write two posts the first (this one) about what God has taught me about himself and the second (on Friday) about what God taught me about myself. I was wondering before I actually did the trip what God would teach me. I assumed that I would undergo many a hardship but come through it all with hard lessons learnt and a stronger faith. Reality turned out to be slightly but no less amazingly different. |
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